friend

by Guest 3 years ago

How do I begin? My lovely labor day weekend (which was spent in the Billy Baldwin lux suite at the Motel 6) came to a conclusion at the Lake George Pancake House. First off, why do Bears get seated before a group of extreme titans of industry come to dine? I don't see these bears contributing to society in any meaningful way other than angering myself, my 6 business associates, and the ambassador of a country that has yet to declare its independence, but I digress.

I will sum up the epic experience with 5 key points.
Decor: Never have I realized how useless windows and lighting are until I stepped foot into this messhall. Seriously pancake house, evolve...you have met your match.
Pricing: I was not made aware that I had to take out a home equity line of credit to purchase my omelette and then maintain a 45% return on my investments in order to add a coffee with that. How these meat muppet diners with fat rolls for days afford this slaughterhouse of value is beyond me.
Service: As a summa cum laude graduate of the french institute's waitstaff program for highly skilled servers, I nearly threw up on my mexican butler when I witnessed the "waitstaff" at this cesspool. Let me just offer 1 piece of advice: Rosetta Stone bootlegged DVDs from the trunk of my buddy Gary's 1998 suburu impreza.
Clientelle: I had no idea that the monster truck rally convention rejects were siphoned here after being escorted out of the methodone clinic. To my left, 1 metric ton that was transported to this diner in a horse trailer. To my right, a scene straight out of good will hunting. Oops, did I say good will hunting? I meant joe dirt - mullets aren't a good look after labor day, bro. Grow up.
Food/sustenance: How does a pancake house - let me repeat that PANCAKE house, make quite possibly the worlds worst pancakes. My business associate is a 4 time world championship of pancakes judge and he literally cut his toungue off (they actually charged him for the tounge removal) with a butter knife to not have to endure these pancakes again. Also, how does one add a fresh fruit, such as blueberries and have the pancake go immediatley stale. Impressive. Speaking of fresh fruit the "fruit cup" (a reasonably priced $36.45) was transported by a sherpa led mule team originating 6 months ago in the valleys of fruit laden st. Petersburg. Needless to say when fruit is transported in the butthole of a sweaty mule for 6 months this leaves some taste to be desired. Pancake house, get ready to get ready.
In conclusion, I will not be recommending this establishment to billy baldwin nor will I be extending a volleyball scholarship to any of your children.

Good day